By Christina Mathieson, LMFT #115093, founder of My Mental Climb.
The holiday season is often a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for many, it can also bring the challenge of balancing the joy of creating new family traditions with maintaining traditions cherished for generations. Here are some helpful tips and strategies to navigate these holiday juggling acts.
Starting Your Own Family Traditions
The excitement of starting your own family comes with the opportunity to create traditions that reflect your personal values, beliefs, and the love you share. Whether it's a special holiday meal, festive decorations, or a family activity, embrace the opportunity to create traditions and memories that resonate with your family.
Be open to trying new things and finding joy in the process of building your own holiday traditions. Remember, every family is unique, and there is no "right" way to celebrate the holidays. Traditions can develop organically. Sometimes they emerge from simple, unplanned moments that become cherished over time.
Juggling Time Between Families
For many, the holidays involve managing time between different sides of the family. While these might be time-honored traditions, it can be challenging to balance time with both sides of the family tree while creating your own holiday traditions.
Having open dialogue with your family can help you navigate these challenges. Some ideas to consider include:
- Alternating which side of the family you visit each year
- Starting a new family tradition of inviting both sides to celebrate with you, which is particularly helpful when dealing with young children
While these conversations can sometimes be challenging to navigate, remember that it's okay to set boundaries and prioritize your immediate family's well-being. Most traditions we cherish today started as new traditions at some point.
Navigating the Holidays in the Absence of a Loved One
The holidays can intensify feelings of grief, especially when a loved one is no longer with us. Instead of focusing on the loss of their presence during the holidays, consider finding a way to honor their memory by incorporating their favorite traditions or creating new rituals to celebrate their life.
A personal example illustrates this approach. One family's grandmother was the center of their holidays, embodying the spirit of togetherness. Each Christmas Eve, she would prepare a traditional Swedish smorgasbord honoring family heritage, complete with pickled herring, head cheese, and meatballs. Over the years, kid-friendly additions seamlessly became part of the tradition.
As circumstances change, whether through health issues or loss, traditions must evolve. The most important element is keeping the love and connection at the center. It is okay to feel a mix of emotions during this time. It is okay to struggle navigating festivities without a loved one. It is okay to be unsure what traditions will look like. It is okay to do something completely different next year.
Give yourself grace this holiday season. Consider seeking out friends and family to help you focus on why you loved the holiday season in the first place. Focus on honoring the memories you have while working on building new ones. If feelings become overwhelming, do not hesitate to reach out to a therapist who can provide a safe space for navigating these complex emotions.
Supporting Those Who Aren't Close to Family
Not everyone has positive holiday memories or is surrounded by family during the holidays, and this time of year can be particularly challenging for those who are far from loved ones.
If you find loved ones or friends in this situation, consider extending an invitation to them, whether to join for holiday dinner, walk the neighborhood checking out lights, or come over for hot chocolate. These simple gestures can help someone feel like they're not alone during this difficult time.
If you find yourself in this situation, consider reaching out to friends, creating a chosen family, or volunteering in your community. The holidays can be an opportunity to connect with others, share experiences, and find comfort in the presence of those who care.
Moving Forward
As you juggle this holiday season, remember there is no one-size-fits-all approach to celebrating this festive season. Embrace the uniqueness of your family dynamics, be open to adapting traditions, and remember to prioritize what matters most. Whether creating new traditions, honoring the past, or finding solace amid loss, the holiday season is an opportunity for growth, love, and lasting memories.
If holiday family dynamics, grief, or tradition transitions are weighing on you, book a free 15-minute consult and we'll talk about what you're working on.
Related from My Mental Climb: Individual therapy · Navigating Political Tension at Family Holidays · Free 15-minute consult
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Last clinically reviewed: by Christina Mathieson, LMFT #115093.
