Resources
Books, podcasts, and videos
we reference.
The body of work our therapy practice operates from. Authors whose frameworks show up in our sessions. Books we hand out. Podcasts we send clients between sessions. Research we cite.
Organized by what you're actually working on. If one catches your attention, follow it. If you want to do the work with a therapist who's reading from the same library, we're here.
If you're working on your relationship
Work with us on couples therapy
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
John Gottman, PhD
Book
Hold Me Tight
Dr. Sue Johnson (EFT founder)
Book
ACT With Love
Russ Harris, MD
Book
The New Monogamy
Tammy Nelson, PhD (infidelity recovery)
Book
Fair Play
Eve Rodsky (domestic labor & partnership)
Book
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Esther Perel (podcast: real couples, real sessions)
Podcast
Brené Brown on Empathy (RSA Short)
Brené Brown / RSA
Video
Brené Brown on Blame (RSA Short)
Brené Brown / RSA
VideoIf you're working on your sex life
Work with us on sex therapy
Come As You Are
Emily Nagoski, PhD
Book
Come Together
Emily Nagoski, PhD (long-term partnerships)
Book
Mating in Captivity
Esther Perel (desire in long-term relationships)
Book
Sexual Intelligence
Marty Klein, PhD
Book
His Porn, Her Pain
Marty Klein, PhD (when porn use becomes a couple's conflict)
Book
When Sex Hurts
Andrew Goldstein, MD (pain, dyspareunia, vaginismus)
Book
The Penis Book
Aaron Spitz, MD
BookIf you're healing from trauma
Work with us on trauma and EMDR
The Body Keeps the Score
Bessel van der Kolk, MD
Book
Waking the Tiger
Peter A. Levine, PhD (Somatic Experiencing)
Book
No Bad Parts
Richard C. Schwartz, PhD (IFS)
Book
Rising Strong
Brené Brown
Book
It's Not You
Ramani Durvasula, PhD (recovering from narcissistic abuse)
Book
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
BookIf anxiety is calling the shots
Work with us on anxiety
The Happiness Trap
Russ Harris, MD (ACT-based)
Book
Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life
Steven C. Hayes, PhD (ACT founder)
Book
Self-Compassion
Kristin Neff, PhD
Book
The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook
Kristin Neff, PhD & Christopher Germer, PhD
Book
If the Buddha Dated
Charlotte Kasl, PhD (mindful approach to relationships)
Book
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson (counterintuitive approach to living well)
Book
Your body language may shape who you are (TED)
Amy Cuddy / TED
VideoIf depression or shame is in charge
Work with us on depression
If you're making meaning of a life chapter
Work with us on individual therapy
The Four Agreements
Don Miguel Ruiz
Book
Man's Search for Meaning
Viktor Frankl
Book
Breakup Bootcamp
Amy Chan (the science of rewiring your heart after a breakup)
Book
how are you, really?
Jenna Kutcher
Book
The Whole-Brain Child
Daniel J. Siegel, MD & Tina Payne Bryson, PhD (for parents)
Book
The Tipping Point
Malcolm Gladwell (how change happens)
Book
Outliers
Malcolm Gladwell (the story of success)
Book
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay Shetty (podcast)
Podcast
Hidden Brain
Shankar Vedantam (podcast)
PodcastIf you're in a season of womanhood
Work with us on women's therapy
Untamed
Glennon Doyle
Book
Burnout
Emily & Amelia Nagoski (stress cycle and the body)
Book
Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts
Karen Kleiman, MSW (postpartum intrusive thoughts)
Book
Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW
Book
The Gifts of Imperfection
Brené Brown
Book
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon Doyle (podcast)
PodcastMave — Free Postpartum Resource Library
Non-clinical emotional support for common postpartum experiences
ResourceIf you want writers who already know
Work with us on LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy
If ADHD is finally something you're looking at clearly
Work with us on ADHD and neurodiversity-affirming therapy
ADHD is Awesome
Penn & Kim Holderness
Book
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD
Russell A. Barkley, PhD
Book
Smart but Scattered Guide to Success
Peg Dawson, EdD & Richard Guare, PhD (executive function for adults)
Book
ADHD After Dark
Ari Tuckman, PsyD (sex and relationships with ADHD)
Book
The Willpower Instinct (Talks at Google)
Kelly McGonigal, PhD
VideoHandouts we've made
Clinical handouts our team has created
Printable PDFs we use in session and send between sessions. Free to download, share with your therapist, or keep on your phone.
The Gottman Method
· 12The Sound Relationship House
The Gottman map of what makes a relationship work — seven levels on two walls, Trust and Commitment.
Weekly State of the Union
The Gottman weekly check-in ritual, as a guided worksheet.
6 Hours to a Better Relationship
The Gottman “Magic Six Hours” of small weekly rituals that keep couples connected.
The Gottman-Rapoport Conversation
A step-by-step script for the structured speaker–listener conflict conversation.
The Stress-Reducing Conversation
The daily debrief that keeps outside stress from leaking into the relationship.
Say It Before It Builds
A fill-in worksheet for anxious attachment: catch the pressure early, reflect on what you're swallowing, and draft a soft start-up before it builds.
After a Trust Rupture: Repair Map
The phases of rebuilding trust after a betrayal, step by step.
Love Maps
Questions for keeping a detailed map of your partner's inner world.
Fondness & Admiration
Build the reserve of appreciation and affection that carries a relationship.
The Drip and the Snap
When steady commentary drains goodwill into negative sentiment override and the other partner starts to snap: a two-sided Gottman plan so it's not one person's job to absorb it.
The Four Horsemen & Their Antidotes
Spot criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, and the antidote for each.
The Aftermath of a Fight
Gottman's step-by-step way to process a fight after you've both cooled down, with feeling, trigger, and repair prompts to work from.
Attachment & EFT
· 8Mapping Out Your Cycle
Name your negative cycle: what each partner does, and what's underneath it.
Pursuer / Withdrawer Cycle
The two most common protest positions in distressed couples, how they escalate each other, and the first move out.
When You're in the Cycle
What to do in the moment when one partner gets sharp and the other goes quiet: name it, soften or signal, and take a real break.
Attachment Injury Repair
An EFT-informed script for processing a specific relationship wound instead of working around it, with a full sample dialogue.
The Story You're Telling
An EFT- and ACT-informed guide to giving each other the benefit of the doubt: catch the old story (they'll nitpick, they'll drop the ball), find the fear underneath, and anchor to your values when you can't change your partner. Includes a fill-in worksheet.
Finding the Raw Spots
The Hold Me Tight practice for naming the sensitive places behind your reactive moments.
The A.R.E. Check-in
Sue Johnson's three attachment questions couples use as a weekly relationship-health baseline.
The Demon Dialogues
The three destructive patterns EFT identifies in distressed couples, and how to spot which one you're in.
ACT for Couples
· 8The Bad-Partner Story
An ACT defusion worksheet, from Russ Harris's ACT With Love, for unhooking from the case your mind builds against your partner, then turning it into the plain facts, the need underneath, and one workable ask.
What You Can Actually Control
An ACT worksheet on the difference between controlling your partner and influencing them, with Harris's escalation ladder for when the one clear ask doesn't land.
Who You Want to Be in This
An ACT values-clarification worksheet built on Harris's ten-year-anniversary exercise: name the partner you want to be, and the small step toward them.
Small Moves That Matter
An ACT committed-action worksheet: small values-guided moves in words, gestures, physical connection, and attention, from Harris's core values of connection, caring, and contribution.
The DRAIN and the LOVE
Russ Harris's ACT model of what pulls a relationship apart (DRAIN) and what rebuilds it (LOVE), with a worksheet to catch your own side.
A Forgiveness Ritual
An ACT With Love practice for setting down a hurt together: a five-step ritual for letting go of resentment, for your own freedom, not to condone or forget.
Bending, Not Breaking
An ACT toolkit for resilience from Russ Harris and Steven Hayes: dropping anchor, defusion, expansion, self-compassion, and values work, with sections on staying steady through change and examples for job loss, caregiving, and the fear of aging.
Values in Action
An ACT handout that frames values as verbs, with a checklist of relationship values written as actions and a pick-three worksheet for one small move toward each this week.
Sex & intimacy
· 4Pleasure Is the Measure
A somatic handbook for coming home to your body — solo and partnered practices, drawn from Blackwell, Lorde, and Nagoski.
Different Sex Drives
Build closeness and a shared intimacy menu when desire levels differ.
Intimacy Menu Worksheet
A yes / maybe / no inventory you each fill out on your own, then compare.
Intimacy Menu Add-Ons
Opt-in sensory and exploration layers to widen your shared menu.
Regulation & trauma
· 4The Breakup Recovery Map
A therapist's map of the neurochemistry of post-breakup pain, six practices that help, and the timeline the research actually shows.
The Window of Tolerance
Map your nervous-system states and widen the zone where you stay regulated.
Coming Back Down: Hyperarousal Skills
A Window of Tolerance follow-up: somatic skills for settling the fight-or-flight state, drawn from Levine and Nagoski.
The RSD Cycle Map
Name the RSD couples cycle and set up the pre-agreed pause so it stops taking over on its own.
On our shelf
Some of the books we've reached for most often this year. The stack grows as we read more.
Ready to do the work with a therapist who reads this stuff?
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