Free take-home handout
Love Maps
A printable set of open-ended Love Maps questions, from Gottman's first principle, for building and keeping a current map of your partner's inner world.
Free to print and share for personal or clinical use. Educational, not a substitute for therapy.
If you reference this handout or share it with clients, please link to this page and credit My Mental Climb rather than reposting the file.
What's inside
- Why Love Maps matter: the more detailed your map of your partner's world, the more connected you stay and the better you handle stress together
- Everyday questions for the current-life layer, short enough to ask at parting, at dinner, or on a walk
- Deeper questions for the hopes, fears, and dreams layer, the kind that have a story for an answer
- Questions for when things are hard, so the map still grows during stress
Who it's for
Any couple who wants to feel more known by each other, whether you are early on or years in and drifting.
Adapted from Gottman's first principle, Build Love Maps (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Educational only, not therapy. My Mental Climb is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or certified by The Gottman Institute.
My Mental Climb adapts established therapy frameworks for educational use and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or certified by their originators, including The Gottman Institute.
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FAQ
What is a Gottman love map?
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A love map is your mental picture of your partner's inner world: their history, worries, hopes, and the small daily details of their life. It is the first level of the Gottmans' Sound Relationship House, and couples who keep detailed, updated love maps stay more connected and weather stress better. This printable is a set of questions for building and refreshing that map.
What questions build a love map?
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Love-map questions are open-ended and split across two layers: everyday questions about current life, and deeper questions about hopes, fears, and dreams. The point is to ask, listen, and stay curious rather than assume you already know, since a partner's inner world keeps changing.
How often should couples update their love maps?
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Keep love maps current by asking small questions regularly rather than in one big sitting. People change, and the map goes stale if you stop updating it. A few questions at dinner or on a walk each week keeps the map alive, which is what makes conflict easier and connection deeper.
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