Free take-home handout
The Sound Relationship House
A printable map of the Gottmans' Sound Relationship House: the seven levels that make a relationship work, held between two load-bearing walls, Trust and Commitment.
Free to print and share for personal or clinical use. Educational, not a substitute for therapy.
If you reference this handout or share it with clients, please link to this page and credit My Mental Climb rather than reposting the file.
What's inside
- The two walls, Trust and Commitment, that run floor to ceiling and hold the whole structure
- The seven levels, from Love Maps at the foundation up to Creating Shared Meaning at the top
- How to use it: build from the foundation up, and if a level feels shaky, start there rather than at the top
- Which of our other couples handouts pair with each level
Who it's for
Any couple who wants a clear map of what a strong relationship is built from, and a way to tell which part needs attention next.
Adapted from Drs. John and Julie Gottman's Sound Relationship House theory. Educational only, not therapy. My Mental Climb is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or certified by The Gottman Institute.
My Mental Climb adapts established therapy frameworks for educational use and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or certified by their originators, including The Gottman Institute.
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FAQ
What is the Sound Relationship House?
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The Sound Relationship House is the Gottmans' model of what makes a relationship work: seven levels you build from the ground up, held between two load-bearing walls, Trust and Commitment. Each level is a skill you can practice, from knowing your partner's world at the foundation to creating shared meaning at the top. This printable maps all seven.
What are the seven levels of the Sound Relationship House?
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The seven levels are Build Love Maps, Share Fondness and Admiration, Turn Toward Instead of Away, The Positive Perspective, Manage Conflict, Make Life Dreams Come True, and Create Shared Meaning. The bottom three form the friendship foundation, which is what makes conflict manageable and shared meaning possible.
Where do you start with the Sound Relationship House?
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Start at the foundation, not the top. The friendship floors (Love Maps, Fondness and Admiration, Turning Toward) hold up everything above them, so if conflict or meaning feels hard, the fix is usually a shaky lower level. Build from the bottom up, and work the level that feels weakest first.
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Evidence-based couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman over 40+ years of research.
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